May 7, 2010

* On Learning and Trusting

It's interesting I mentioned 'trusting' the Universe in my blog yesterday.  Today, some very unsettling events have occurred in my life.  Nothing is 'for sure' as yet.  Every intuitive bone in my body tells me something is terrible wrong.  I will know within the next few days.  If, indeed, these events have occurred I pray for grace to accept them.  When I made these choices, I made them with an open and knowing mind.  I weighed the risks involved and was aware of the rewards.  Should my decisions have indeed gone 'sideways' I pray for the grace to acknowledge I did my very best.  I made them in good faith.  I pray I will not 'beat myself to death'.  I pray I will not say 'Look what a mess you have gotten yourself into this time!'  I pray I will process it and move forward quickly.  I pray it will open another door which I have not been aware of.   Most of all I pray my intuition is totally wrong! I pray I did not misjudge character. I always say there are no 'mistakes', only learning.  Harder to believe when it's me who is 'learning'.  Interesting when these situations occur.  It forces me to practice my beliefs.  It pushes my limits on the path I have chosen to take.  My awareness makes me responsible.  I am now able to 'balance my life and keep my equilibrium.  I used to go to bed.  It's no longer possible.  I now know how to care for myself.  My practice in the past has been to beat myself up and be very harsh with my soul.  Now I know better.  I can no longer act that way.  In the past I would go into denial.  Now I know how to face the truth and deal with it.  I am able to make conscious choices when it comes to what reactions I choose.  I no longer act with blindness. I no longer allow my emotions to rule.  I am consciously aware of how I feel and can adjust my sails into the wind.  I have learned to detach.  I am no longer personally involved.  The Universe is asking me to practice my beliefs.  A challenge sometimes.  Please hold me in your consciousness for a little while.  It would be comforting.

I walked to de Luz today to OK the bathroom tiles, their layout and look at building a bench at the end of the shower.  In my older age I may want to 'sit awhile'.   The fireplace is finished.  It must cure.  It will then be painted.   I had a little mantel built on for candles etc.
  The tiles are being cleaned.  They will be antiqued and sealed with a semi gloss sealer.

My walk to the house, as usual was lovely.  Some more shots.
I find this little blue house, with its graceful arches, so attractive.
Another of my favorites.  The canterra stone trim around the door is exquisit with the old door and masonry work.  The bougainvillea adds a final touch of class.

"So go ahead and make mistakes.
Make all you can.
Because that's where you will find success.
On the far side of failure."
Thomas J. Watson, Sr.

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