May 9, 2010

* Update

I know many of you are concerned about me.  I have had e-mails and phone calls.  Thank you.  I feel less alone.  I cannot go into the details as yet.  I don't really know what has happened, although I have strong suspicions.  I must be very careful what I say on this blog as it could be held against me in a Mexican court of law.  I can tell you I am locked out of my house.  I can tell you it is the seller who has locked me out.  I suspect he has not been paid by the real estate company.  In Mexico, if this happens, I am responsible to pay the seller (again).  I say again, because I have obviously already paid the real estate company.   There are no regulations like we have in the rest of North  Amercia.  It is a free for all.  I knew that.  I thought I had everything covered.  NOT!  Yes, I am frightened.  Yes, I am going to be OK.  Yes, I am asking the Universe for guidance.  I am on the path.  It is an opportunity for me to practice, although I would rather have skipped this one, thank you.  I so appreciate your support.  Please bear with me.  It will mean a lot to know you are 'just there'.

I felt an art class would be good for me today.  It would get my mind off everything.  I spent a couple of hours with Nina . . in silence .. painting totally from my intuition.  I was totally 'in the zone', in process.  First shapes appeared in different colours, then form, then a woman dancing.  This is what appeared before me.  It is not finished, however, what came through me was a surprise.

Allow me to explain a little about intuitive painting. Everything and anything is possible.  There are no rules.  First thought is used.  Whatever your first thought is when you pick up the brush ... you do it.  It it says use pink, you use pink.  It it says draw a circle in yellow, you do it.  Soon you are in a zone far away from everything including your surroundings.  You are following instructions from who knows where.  It's incredible.  Today I ended up with 'The dancer'.  Here she is.

This is intuitive painting.  You do the painting, then you 'read' it.  I would say this.  She has many hearts.  They are all weeping blood.  She has been betrayed.  Her eyes also cry tears formed into hearts. Her tears are blood, and indeed she is standing in a pool of blood.  Her insides are exposed.  She feels vulnerable.  She has given so much of herself away, half of her is empty.  She feels 'contained' ... like she is in too small a space.  She wants to 'break out', 'be free', burst all her boundaries.  Because she is not depressed anymore and cannot sleep to shut out the world.  She has chosen to move her body, to try and dance.   It's arduous work. She moves slowly in a way she hopes will comfort her.  It's not very comfortable, because the space she is allowed by society to dance in is not very big.  She feels like an explosion is about to occur.  She may burst the banks like a flooding river.  She may blow her top like a volcano.  All she knows is she must have more space to express.  Interesting she is wearing ballet slippers.  I don't know what that means.  She stands in a pool of her own blood from giving away her life force.  It's time to take it back.  Her heart is broken and bleeding.  I would say all the hearts represent that she is 'all heart'.  Passionate, open, trusting and in love with life.  This makes her vulnerable to be taken advantage of.  She is conscious of this and does everything she knows how to protect herself.  I would say the ribs represent self protection.  Oddly enough she only has eight.  Perhaps she needs to grow more to be completely protected.  The Universe says it is not enough.  It is telling her she must be more aware.   Unfortunate circumstances are taking place involving her learning process on the path.  Another opportunity to practice what she has already learned.  She feels very very sad.  She feels betrayed by those she trusted.  Again.  She begs the Universe.  'Please don't take away my ability to trust the Human Race. I honestly don't know it I can bear it!"

A couple of photographs of Silvia's Calla Lily.  Growing in my fountain on the terrace.  It gives me peace.  It is exquisite.

Flowers seem intended for the solace of ordinary humanity.  ~John Ruskin

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