June 22, 2010

* Earthly Goods

Attachment.  Coveting.  To people?  Naturally, I'm attached to people.  However, I was speaking of attachment to and coveting my earthly goods.  As I have already written about, over the past years I have downsized to an alarming degree.  Today I had a moment.  A moment of longing for what I had once owned.  A moment of homesickness as it were.  I wanted it all back.  What are you missing some you may ask.  Is it your antiques? Carefully hunted down, collected, restored and refinished by hand?  Is it your Royal Doulton figuries?  Is it your Hummel Angel collection.  Is it all those beautiful objects d'arte  you collected from your travels all over the world?  Is it the sentimental family belongings?  Is it the good crystal, the original paintings, the collection of antique books you took years assembling, is it ?????  Actually, it's none of the above.  Oddly enough, I was sorting and organizing my artist materials today.  The little I did bring with me.  What I miss is the medley of artists 'stuff' I had collected over the years for mixed media, collage and assembledge.  My heart felt heavy.  I longed for my collection of sea shells from all over the world, for the stones I had carted home from who the hell knows where, the postage stamps, the letters, the foreign coins, the broken china, the ephemera from every conceivable venue.  All the bits and pieces, down to that roll of copper I left behind.  I pined.  I longed.  I ached.  I keep telling myself I can start over.  I keep telling myself this is the perfect country to find good exciting pieces for my art.  It doesn't help.  I just want my stuff back.  Boo Hoo!  Poor me.

So, now that I have whined ... let's move on.  I found something very symbolic today amongst my artists acquisitions.  It was the key to the plane my ex and I once owned.  Our little Cessna Hawk XP, "The Northern Princess".  Most of the enjoyment we experienced with her was in the North West Territories.  What fun we had.  Such freedom.  Looking at that key, holding it in my hand was once again very symbolic of 'Flying Solo'.  An interesting moment.  Many happy memories.

So I guess it's been quite a day.  My tenant in Victoria gave notice today.  They will be leaving the end of July.  I didn't need that either.  Yes, I'm feeling a tad stressed.   I have papers at my lawyer in Victoria which need to be taken care of.  I can't seem to get the answers I need.  Frustration!

My yard was clear for a day.  The painter spent the day here.  Tomorrow more iron work arrives for the terrace.  The brick masons will be arriving early in the morning to begin the last wall.  I took a photo before the men came with their scaffolds, boards and tools to fill up the yard again.  Tomorrow will be busy.

 "I have been overcome by the beauty and richness of out life together, those early mornings setting out, those evenings gleaming with rivers and lakes below us, still holding the last light."  ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I have felt these exact feelings while flying together in our little Northern Princess.  Bitter Sweet.

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