January 18, 2011

* Do you ever feel like this?

I've been feeling edgy lately.  Out of whack.  Out of balance.  I was very close to an anxiety attack this morning, which I really try and avoid at all costs.  They are such uncomfortable moments to endure.  Have any of you experienced one?  No fun is it! 

My practice, as you probably already know, it to stay in the moment, to work on one thing at a time and to do it mindfully and enjoy.  Well, that seems to have gone down the tubes temporarily.  My 'slinky' is waaaay out of balance.

Issues with the house, meetings with the builder, problemas to sort out, compromises to make, taxes to pay, FM2s to apply for (requires paperwork to assemble, copies to be made) etc. etc. etc.  My mind has also gone on a creative binge - so many ideas - so little time.  Things I want to get done this year.  Changes I want to make.  There are times so many creative ideas exist in my brain at the same time, it feels like someone pushed the blender button and I'm getting a creative smoothie.  Friends are arriving, ... Miss Perfect came out to visit me.  Had to send her from the room.  Sorry Donna, things just won't be perfect when they arrive.  You are still 'under construction'.   Just the normal, little things of life, but all at once.  This morning, I had to take myself in hand.  On the edge of stepping into the anxiety pot hole, I took myself by the hand, sat myself down in my most comfortable chair, and instructed myself to breathe deeply.  Breathe in the light, and breathe out any feelings of anxiety in my body. 

I sat with Julia Cameron's "Prayers to the Great Creator" and allowed the book to fall open of it's own accord to a page which would serve me well.

This was my prayer for this morning.  I wanted to share, because it could not have hit the nail on the head harder had it been planned.  A moment of serindipity, which I often experience.

Wisdom Gives Patience to my Soul
My soul is a patient traveler.  I am grateful for my patient soul.  Despite the temptation to think and act rashly, I root myself in the goodness of Spirit and act with temperance and wisdom.  I treat myself with gentle compassion when I find myself anxious or panicky due to imagined difficulties.  At all times, in all places, I remind myself that Spirit is the source of my security and that when I rest in Spirit I rest in loving companionship.  In times of loneliness, when I feel misunderstood and abandoned, I allow myself to feel the presence of Spirit, guiding and supporting me, holding me safe and secure despite my fears and misgivings.  I bless the path I travel with spiritual safety.
B R E A T H E

ahhhh ... that does feel better!

8 comments:

  1. Donna, we have all been there at one time or another. The way I deal with stress is to envision a pleasant scene, like a pasture full of horses who are calm and beautiful. I'm scared to death of horses but seeing them out in the field is very relaxing for me. You have beautiful scenery surrounding you.

    Try it!

    Also, don't worry about having company and wanting everything perfect. They are interested in visiting with you, not using a white glove on your casa.

    ENJOY TIME SPENT TOGETHER.

    Hugs,
    C

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  2. Well, it sounds like we have both been on the wrong side of "normal" lately as you will see in my latest post. Hate to think what it would be like if we did not have this outlet to vent a bit and get some support! So glad you "happened" upon that page in the book and that it helped you breathe a little. I so believe that just expressing our feelings goes a long way toward improving them. Wish I could be there to give you a hug. One step at a time.... it's going to be OK...

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  3. I've been meaning to drop you a private note to see how you are. Funny. I'll drop over after I post this. Thanks for your support, Patty. I so agree ... we need to vent, be heard, and have some support. Makes it all seem lighter.

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  4. i was feeling out of synch with myself yesterday too donna, like i had an irritant in my nervous system, it is always especially noticeable to me if i have to be out and functioning amongst others, much more manageable if i can just be home alone quiet with it... canceled plans for today and feel much more settled, love being my own best friend treating myself with great kindness... hope you "disturbance " passes also with gentleness and acceptance

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  5. Hi Elaine ... I'm so happy to see you here. For whatever reason I can't be at GIST right now. I'm sorry you have been feeling off now. We do need our alone time, don't we. I feel like the last whirlwind year has caught up with me and I simply have to stop, or I will break. Thank you so much for your support and for dropping by. Take gentle care of YOU.

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  6. Lady D, I hope this passes. I know we cannot always be light beams of happiness (as one of my profs used to say).
    Your ability to place these feelings, or at least have the words to express this as you do means that you are one step ahead the rest of us.

    I liked the quote, and I agree with Carolyn's words.
    Please do take care.
    xo

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  7. My very lovely Salma. Thank you for being here. This too shall pass, and I will be fine. I do think I need a break of 'quiet time' ... and I will give that to myself. I have already let the 'perfect house' part go ... impossible, and as we speak the construction dust piles up on the furniture .. ha ha. I agree with Carolyn too. xo

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