March 3, 2016

A few thoughts ...

Hello my lovelies.  Greetings from my second last day in San Miguel.

I've cancelled everything.  My goal?  Get well enough to board the plane on Saturday.  To that end, I have been quite restless ... not well enough to go out ... not sick enough to go to bed.

I began to write, and this is the outcome.
 
Roots

"I sense small tentacles on established roots stirring.  Reaching and stretching they search for fertile soil. Once found, they grow stronger and deeper than those already permanently rooted.  Tangled and forging new paths they hold me steady.  I attempt to lift my feet.  I wrench and struggle.  The roots hold fast.

The jacarandas begin to bloom.  Spring in San Miguel.  Soon the valley will be a hue of purple unique to the hand of God.  Magic is happening before me.  The colors of green and brown turn into multiple hues and the scent of a new season wafts through the air.  The wintery hillsides burst into vibrant whites, reds, pinks oranges, and purples.  A wedding awaits. The city herself becomes the spring bride.

My cheeks are moist.  Tears drip from a depth I had not, until now, acknowledged. My observation sense sharpens.  The colours, the architecture, the cobblestone streets, the smell of age and layers of history cling to me.  I cannot shake the emotions. I feel naked. There is no perspective.

This has become my home, its essence is carried in my heart.  Now I must return to my country of birth where I never belonged - where roots never existed.  I leave because of the word “leukemia”, not because of the word ‘want’, or ‘need’, or ‘longing’.

This life, this place has taught me much.  Hard, difficult, searing lessons have been dealt me here.  Like old battle wounds, the pain still haunts me.   I have much healing yet to accomplish.

My Fairy Godmother has also been by my side.  I have felt the touch of her magic wand on many occasions.  A privileged life has been afforded me here.  One full of fun, magic, surprises and excitement.  The building of my own home was one of the great joys.  The wonderment of having staff to care for my every need while I attended to and focused on my passion for painting is a privilege I shall never forget.

The most magical, mystical, interesting and sheer crazy people have been part of my life.  This city, this ancient town is built on crystals.  People who are attracted here are ‘different’.  Their love of life, their curiosity, their interest in the unusual, the mystical,  their education (in many different ways), the myriad of talents they carry with them makes this town exceptional.

My home is sold.  I wait out my last days cloistered in a rental house - somewhere in the never never land between illness and wellness.  I need to board a plane in three days.

I cancel my agenda.  I am tired, bored, sad and sick with typhoid.  I live on memories.

My roots hold tight.  I may have to surgically sever them.  It will be painful.  I must begin to pack."
-30-

Thanks for stopping by.  Sorry I haven't been around to see you all ... sooooon ... xoxo

“That part was easy. Tearing up the roots will be the hard part.”
~ Ally Condie, Matched

5 comments:

  1. Uprooting yourself is a huge endeavour, and one that costs a lot of time and energy. You will be leaving part of yourself in Mexico. Hope you are well for the journey home, and then you can start again in your new house. BIG hugs, Valerie

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  2. Such an eloquent writing about the roots you grew and having such a difficult time extracting them to move back to Canada. You have a huge talent expressing your feelings, your surroundings and people too. It is not often one has multiple talents, like you have, Donna. I look forward to reading more as you travel north. Just remember you have those talents and will continue to share them with the world. Continue to paint, to write and I hope you are able to get a book in the works. Have a safe trip and be kind to yourself. Medical help is your future.
    Hugs,
    Carolyn

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  3. Hope you get well soon that the flight will be good for you!
    You will see that your new life in canada will be also a wonderful one - I am sure!!
    It's not just what surrounds us - it's what is in us ...

    ♥♥♥
    Susi

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  4. Oh, Donna. So much emotion..... It has been an honor to tag along on this entire journey with you. All good things must end. We know that but doesn't make it any easier, does it? Hopefully you will be back again someday. I agree with Carolyn - your writing has always drawn me in and this summary is no exception. Beautifully done and you well know that difficult circumstances sometimes fuel the most heartfelt and evocative creative expression, so.... looking forward to following your continued journey, wherever that might be. Hugs for the trip ahead - hope you are feeling better and stronger now!! xox

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  5. thank you for pouring out your he♥rt and blessing us with your tender emotions dear Donna...
    my heart aches for you
    sending Peace ♥ Love and Light
    along with my favorite blessing
    May the long time sun shine upon you
    All Love surround you
    and the pure Light within you guide your way on
    oxoxo

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